A Terrible Tragedy

Today is an incredibly sad day for my hometown of Aurora, CO. My heart breaks for these families. The families who lost loved ones to this senseless violence. The families who were there and injured. Those who know people personally affected by all of this. It is all so sad. When I first heard about this this morning was, "OMG. My students!" After that I thought about all the people I know who live in this community and I just hoped that I didn't know anyone who was at the theater last night. So far, I don't think I know anyone involved. I've contacted students on my student facebook and as far as I can tell they are all safe.

I'm feeling several emotions right now. The first I want to address is my frustration at people who are quick to bash Aurora. Let me first say that these people did not ask for this to happen. This was not "gang" related, it seems that so many want to blame Aurora for all the gang problems in this state. This was a senseless act of violence by an obviously troubled person. Let's face it, this man could have done this ANYWHERE. It just happened that he was in Aurora. He could have done this in San Diego where he was from. He could have done this in another part of Colorado, then what would people say then? My thoughts go to another terrible tragedy that struck Colorado in April of 1999. That massive school shooting did not happen in Aurora. This is not the time to bash a city that is experiencing a horrible, senseless act of violence. I am glad that my facebook news feed has not seen those kind of comments. But, I have several friends who are posting about what their friends are saying. And it just seems so wrong to say things like, "only in Aurora." Or "that's why I don't go to Aurora." Or some other remark that puts the city down.

There are several different people who live in Aurora from so many backgrounds. If you have watched the news at all today, you will find that diversity is represented in the interviews people are given. They are from all walks of life. And personally that is what I find wonderful about Aurora. Just a few facts. The Aurora Public Schools alone represent 135 countries and speak more than 115 languages. Talk about diversity! We joke at school that we have our own little UN here in Aurora. My point is that there are good people and bad people EVERYWHERE! Not just in Aurora. And Aurora is a huge city and there are going to be good parts and bad parts. Just like in Denver or anywhere else you choose to live. This is a time to come together as a community and help those who were affected and need love and support in this time of need.

I sit here thinking about the families and hoping they can cope and get through this horrible situation. I am reminded of other tragedies I've seen. Columbine. 9/11. This. I just don't understand what happens to a person to make them do something like this to the innocent. I can't imagine being one of the people waiting to know what happened to my friend or family member. My heart just breaks for those who still don't know where their loved ones are. I hope the families get their answers soon and that they find their loved ones alive.

I have many thoughts going through my mind today. Hopefully I can find better words to express my feelings in the days ahead. For now I'm glad that Martin, baby and myself are safe. I'm glad my family is safe. I'm glad my friends are safe. And I'm glad that my students are safe. I hope the friends and family of those I know are all safe as well. This does make me realize all the good I have, but how quickly things can change. Right now I'll continue to pray for those victims of this tragedy and look for a way to help my hometown in the days ahead.

A Million Things Happening

Martin and I have decided to get married this summer. I originally wanted to wait until after the baby to get married for two reasons, I wouldn't be all big and fat and I could drink at my wedding. But after thinking about it I realized it would be nice and easier to do this before the baby. I wanted us all to have the same name, a small thing, but important to me.

So we're getting married in a month. I'm enjoying the planning now. I was getting stressed when we couldn't find a place. I knew Martin wanted to have an actual ceremony and not just a courthouse wedding, so I was thinking we might have to end up waiting anyway. But, we found a place and all is going well. With this and the baby planning, my days are buys. Which is great, gives me something to do, but it's also making the summer go by quickly.

I received my back to school letter today and honestly going back to work is the furthest thing from my mind. I don't even want to go back to work. And I don't feel guilty about having those thoughts. I know some people have been working all summer on plans and whatnot. I'm perfectly content doing my own thing and can already tell I'm not going to be "in it" this year. Oh well. Time for a new job, I guess.

Now, back to work. I still have many things to figure out before the wedding. And if I stay busy Monday will get here sooner and I'll know what this baby is...he/she will no longer be an it in a day and a half!

I miss Running!

Holy crap. Did those words actually come out of my mouth? If you asked me two years ago, I would tell you that hell no, those words would never come out of my mouth. But here I am wishing I could go out for a long, hard run. My body is craving it.

I knew that since I was a runner before being pregnant I could still run. But, I was told to watch my heart rate and not over exert myself because I don't want to over exert the baby. So I was scared away from doing runs like normal. I know many still run while pregnant, I was just very nervous. And slowing down my running was just not cutting it. And now I'm at that stage in pregnancy when apparently I get winded very easily. I feel like an 80 year old or someone who has never done an active thing in their lives. Just walking up the stairs puts me out of breath. It's crazy.

Running got to be my stress relief. And the time when I could think about a problem or something else and by the end of the run I felt better about whatever it was. Or I could think about nothing and finish the run feeling refreshed. I never thought I would get to that place with my running. The last couple days have been a little stressful and a run would definitely help. Luckily I have a great man to help me through my hormones that are in full effect right now. And two cute doggies that I can cuddle. And a little one to think about, which I do all the time. I just hope I can get back to that place with my running after the baby is here.

C and I after our first long race in Boulder

Goofing around at the Alamo during our San Antonio race.

We did it!! And survived!